Backbone Banter Blog
Welcome! This blog is the product of many years of working with three elements of backbone: competence, confidence, and risk taking, as well as a writer’s compulsion to express. It is a weekly real-time collection of observations, musings, and an occasional rant. There’s no agenda, other than to comment on the world as it appears behind my eyeballs, hoping it might spur you to consider what it’s like behind yours. When we share such things, we learn from one another about a world that’s bigger than you or I can see on our own. (That’s building competence.)
Will it trigger disagreement?… Read the rest “Backbone Banter Blog”
Against the Buzz: Finding Clarity in a Distracted World
"Many of us have built lives that are too loud to hear ourselves in.”
"This is very insightful. It has been on my mind that critical thinking, strategy and leadership requires deep thinking and uninterrupted thought. Everyone needs to read this!"
In an age of constant motion, few of us have time to think before reacting. Leadership coach and author Susan Marshall believes we’ve mistaken speed for progress and noise for knowledge. Every scroll, swipe, and instant reaction convinces us we’re keeping up, when in reality we’re just spinning faster. Through her Backbone Institute, she teaches what modern life forgets: that courage begins in quiet, and clarity only comes when we find stillness.
Escalating Anger?
Every day we hear of someone who said or did something mean-spirited, cruel or just plain evil. Our natural reflex is to feel outrage and anger and to wish for some sort of retribution.
This natural reflex is encouraged and promoted by all sorts of nefarious actors online, in the media, and sometimes in our own circle of friends, associates, and family.
Here’s a question: How much time spent on noticing and reacting to these situations is rewarded with something worthwhile? Something like justice, positive change, growth, or achievement (however one might define such things these days)?
A more pointed question: How much benefit do you derive?… Read the rest “Escalating Anger?”
The **BIG** Dream!
I sat in front of my computer, wracking my brain to remember the brilliant idea for a new book title that occurred to me as I was walking the dog yesterday. It was so clever! Guaranteed to draw eyeballs and prompt more than a few curious potential readers to investigate its message. The **BIG** Dream just waiting to be actualized!
After a few moments of trying on a variety of words, I sat back and chuckled aloud. “Well, there goes another possibility,” I thought. “It marched across my psyche for a nanosecond, fired my imagination, and then poof!”
Reflecting on the slew of inspirational messages I’ve heard for decades, I appreciate their intent and certainly have benefitted from the jolts of energy they provided.… Read the rest “The **BIG** Dream!”
The Day(s) When Nothing Goes As Planned
I’m not much of a planner. Never have been.
As a kid, I had many interests thanks to a love of reading. Stories of nature, the wilderness, horse racing, athletic achievement and family drama were supplemented by Reader’s Digest biographies of historical figures—queens, kings, barons of industry, bankers and my favorite, Madam Curie. Every story was a new adventure. I held my breath through the challenges and was enthralled with the grit, courage and stamina of the protagonists. I learned that the world held endless possibility just waiting for me to grow up.
Similarly, as the second of six kids, every day was unpredictable.… Read the rest “The Day(s) When Nothing Goes As Planned”
A Broken Fingernail
I used to get my nails done. Started for my youngest daughter’s wedding and continued for a decade afterwards. I liked the way they looked. I liked how I felt with freshly done nails—chic, sophisticated, put-together. Professional.
What I chose to ignore or conveniently forget was the stress that went along with maintaining professionally done nails. I remember in particular a trip to Dallas, where I was traveling to speak at a women’s conference. The attendees were mid- to senior-level managers of large corporations. My topic was Backbone: How to build competence and increase confidence to elevate intelligent, purposeful risk-taking.
As I pulled my carry-on from the overhead bin, I snapped off one of the nails.… Read the rest “A Broken Fingernail”
What Happened to Curiosity?
Is it my imagination or has the world slowly become smaller, harder, and less interesting? That’s the impression I get from too many people today. Listening to conversations, I’m noticing two pronounced patterns.
The first is that conversations are more like assaults than explorations. Person A declares something, then tenses to protect the statement. Person B declares something different and tenses to protect it.
Now Persons A and B are in a mighty struggle to defend their positions with nary a thought to understand what the other has said. Indeed, there are fewer times when I hear things like, “That’s interesting, I hadn’t thought of/heard that.… Read the rest “What Happened to Curiosity?”
Tact and Diplomacy: Archaic Skills?
Is tact old-fashioned? Is diplomacy a thing anymore?
The questions occur to me as I listen to ever more strident social media influencers wishing death or expulsion from government and society of those with whom they disagree.
Rants filled with expletives and death-wishes upon “other-siders” create conflicting emotions for me. The first is knee-jerk: Who do you think you are, exactly? Doesn’t matter the political persuasion or technical/academic expertise. Channeling Yogi Bear, I wonder what makes you smarter than the average bear?
The countermanding emotion is one of pity. I’d like to say compassion, but that’s not it. How dark must your mind be, what anger must you harbor about something that happened to you, and how desperate must you be for attention to prompt you to speak so despicably?… Read the rest “Tact and Diplomacy: Archaic Skills?”
AI: A New Acronym?
AI today means Artificial Intelligence. In some cases Augmented Intelligence. Meaning more than what you can do on your own.
What if we flipped the script? What ifAll Posts AI meant Authentic Intelligence? Haven’t we been all about authenticity for a while now? How ‘bout we apply it to intelligence?
The rub, as I’ve noticed it, between those who champion AI and those who scoff at it (aside from commercial interests) is the argument of whether AI expands human capacity or leads to atrophy in human brainpower. When you can enter a provocative prompt and AI responds in mere seconds with something far more articulate and profound than anything you might have conjured after hours of mindful meditation, it’s easy to see why you’d kick back and celebrate.… Read the rest “AI: A New Acronym?”
Premonitions
Walking the dog the other day, I had an unexpected flashback to a cocktail reception at a Direct Marketing Association conference in New York decades ago—long lost and not particularly memorable, save for a brief exchange with a fellow conference attendee. He was a tall man whose gaze roamed a bit anxiously as if he was watching for someone.
We struck up a conversation about the day’s presentations, one of which was a future-oriented virtual meeting. The demonstration foretold what we now know as Zoom or Teams meetings. At the time it seemed pure sci-fi! How might we see the faces of others over a phone line or computer screen?… Read the rest “Premonitions”
A Special Moment
I had brunch today with two men who have become dear friends. They are both former wrestlers, representing opposite ends of the weight class spectrum: one a bantam weight; one a heavyweight. Both are title holders; one trained for the Olympics.
After stellar wrestling careers, both men pursued professions in the financial services industry—two different disciplines. We are as unlikely to have met and become friends as any random trio of humans you might imagine.
The laughter we shared today was absolute balm to my spirit after a difficult week. It always is. We talk about real challenges in outrageous terms and laugh ourselves silly.… Read the rest “A Special Moment”
Kick the Crutches Aside
I was sitting outside with my almost 12-year-old golden retriever this evening when a rude question blasted its way into my serenity. The question: “When are you going to stand up?”
Seemed odd, so I sat with it a while. I think I stand up pretty regularly, owning my stuff and encouraging others to gain clarity on theirs. But I’ve been feeling crappy for a while. Heavy. Sluggish. Mildly unhappy with my physical packaging. Like many, I’ve searched online for a solution to erase the pounds we seem to pack on with age. So I thought, okay. Let’s see where this goes.… Read the rest “Kick the Crutches Aside”
Beware Success
It feels good to accomplish things, especially when you also win accolades. When people see what you do and express appreciation or admiration you want to do more: Gain more notice, win more business, pile up more success. And of course you want more people to see that others are noticing you.
But there is an insidious trap lurking for those who are not aware: A growing sense of self-importance, puffed up ego, and smug assumption that any upward trajectory in your realm is a by-product of your brilliance. This is nearly impossible to see. You’re just pleased with positive results.… Read the rest “Beware Success”
Kindness Touches Us All
Like millions of Americans, I attended my hometown 4th of July parade. Taking my place on a grassy corner alongside fellow citizens, I enjoyed encouraging parade marchers with waves and applause. Although the afternoon was uncomfortably hot, everyone seemed happy to be there.
As the VFW Band neared us, one of the members stepped out of the parade, red-faced and sweating profusely. He stumbled up the curb as several people rushed to help him remove the tuba from his shoulder and guide him to a lawn chair. Bottles of water were offered, and a young teenager held an umbrella over his head to shield him from the sun.… Read the rest “Kindness Touches Us All”
Training Your Brain
We are encouraged every day to accept bad news and disappointment. How so? News casts. Friends who share disillusions. Neighbors who complain about personal woes. Colleagues who agonize over life’s unfairness. You know the ways. You experience them. Bad news is ‘just life,’ we’re told.
I was introduced as a young adult to the notion that we can direct our thoughts, regardless of what we’re told or what we have experienced. “Your Erroneous Zones,” by Wayne Dyer was the catalyst for this particular instruction. I remember reading the book in my late teens The rebel in me was stirred. Ah, no, stoked is a better descriptor.… Read the rest “Training Your Brain”
A Dream as Catalyst
I dream a lot. Full color, full sound. Always have. One year Mom bought me a dream book for Christmas, and I was excited to learn the meaning of the images I saw most frequently. Most of what I dreamt was not covered in the book. What does that mean?
Recently I had a dream in which I was incoming CEO of a well-known retail chain. On the day of the all-company announcement, I was inviting various department leaders to take a few minutes on stage to introduce themselves, share their hometown, and briefly describe their work. Several departments did not have a current leader and several declined my invitation, fearing public speaking.… Read the rest “A Dream as Catalyst”
Accountability is Not Punishment
In a fascinating discussion with a trio of leaders, one from business, one from philanthropy, one from education, the subject of accountability drew both animation and confusion.
Without betraying the proclivity of these disciplines, the heat came from disagreements about what holding others accountable means. Is it bullying to achieve compliance toward expected results? Is it encouragement to do better based on perceived potential? Is it dominance that simply has no place in human interaction? Is it an old-fashioned notion derived from command-and-control systems of management?
Two observations: First, I was reminded of the power of words and the current ethos in which they live.… Read the rest “Accountability is Not Punishment”